Shortcut Romeo movie review: Predictable but coolly crafted

But the Neil Nitin Mukesh and Ameesha Patel film is formulaic and actually feels like a spoof

Film: Shortcut Romeo; Cast: Neil Nitin Mukesh, Ameesha Patel and Puja Gupta; Director: Susi Ganesh

There are two ways of doing a full-on masala film. You either turn it on its head and poke fun at ridiculous cinematic conventions, or you treat the stereotypical characters and sacred cows of our cinema with full seriousness.

Shortcut Romeo takes the midway route. It seems so full of the old-world formulistic flavour and the stench of the familiar that parts of the pulsating aggressive storytelling actually feel like a spoof.

So, we have the film’s unfaithful wife Monica (Ameesha Patel) and her slimy lover (Jatin Grewal) making out in a golf turf and it is beyond logical explanation why an affluent couple, who could afford the poshest of a duplex to meet, would choose such a spot. And then the lover tells the unfaithful wife, “First time when you do it (cheat in a marriage), you feel bad. Then it becomes your style.” Er, how stylish! Come again?

But please don’t laugh. First-time Hindi director Susi Ganesan is dead serious. The film shot at the speed of sound is filled with bizarre twists and turns. It’s basically the story of a woman who cheats on a saintly tycoon of a husband (effectively played by Rajesh Shringarpure) who has a massive portrait of Rabindranath Tagore in his bedroom, and a cheesy blackmailer named Suraj (Neil Nitin Mukesh), who believes in taking risky shortcuts to get rich.

This is not the first film about a cheating wife and a blackmailer. Reena Roy and Naseeruddin Shah had done the roles with heart-stopping tension in Bezubaan. Shortcut Romeo scores in the way the the plot paces out its drama in the ongoing friction between the cheating wife and the blackmailer.

Neil plays the cheesy go-getter with a schemer’s delight. His eyes glint when he talks of teasing more money out of Monica. He drools when she transfers cash into his trashy life. Alas, some of the narrative’s display of the protagonist’s excessive hedonism is just an excuse for African tourism. The Kenyan expedition reads like a botched-up touristic brochure. Bad idea, Ganesan.

Even worse is the director himself showing up in the second-half as the cheated husband’s detective friend. Ganesan’s accent is so thick, it slices the gamboling narration into smithereens. At least for a while. But then again the film gathers momentum towards the end-game. The finale is a breathless whammy with Neil making a run for his freedom, quite literally, with the narrative panting behind him.

Shortcut Romeo is redeemed by a strong message on today’s 20-something’s yearning for materialism. And when our Shortcut Romeo finds his short-skirt Juliet (Puja Gupta, pretty) there is a delicious irony attached to the association. The film’s most vivid interludes go back to Neil’s childhood to show how he learned to be corrupt, acquisitive, and inquisitive, at a tender age.

Some of the action sequences with Neil, especially a key fight with African tribals, are first-rate. But then the songs by Himesh Reshammiya – oh my god! – pop up at the most inopportune moments.

In spite of its massive flaws, including the cheesy dialogues, Ganesan’s stylish shocker of a thriller manages to stay constantly one step ahead of the audience. A coolly crafted cat-and-mouse game, Shortcut Romeo finds Neil giving grit to the gripping goings-on. The last half-hour is a knockout.

But the overall product could have been far less retrograde in tone. Nonetheless, enjoyable while it lasts.

Naseeruddin Shah: I don’t think anybody should try remaking Masoom

The veteran actor-director cringes at the very mention of the remake trend. He says he neither understands the business of remakes, nor is he in favour of a new version of his 1983 critically acclaimed film Masoom
“I don’t understand this remake business. Films that are being remade shouldn’t be made in the first place. Bollywood is just betraying its complete mental lethargy by doing this! Earlier it was done differently, but unless you have some different angle to it, one should not do it,” said Naseeruddin Shah.

Masoom, directed by the maverick Shekhar Kapur, was about how the news of a man’s love child creates havoc in the life of a happy family.  Naseeruddin played the father, while Shabana Azmi essayed his wife. It is one of Naseeruddin’s favourite films from his career of over four decades.

The buzz is the actor-singer-producer Himesh Reshammiya has recently bought the remake rights of the movie. Naseeruddin says the film’s story is not conducive to modern times. “‘Masoom cannot be made better. I don’t think anybody should try remaking Masoom. In this modern world of emails and mobile phones, how is it possible that a child grew up to the age of 10, and his father has no clue of his existence?” he asked.

In the recent past, Bollywood filmmakers have shown a fancy towards a string of old movies. Agneepath, Himmatwala, Chashme Buddoor, Don, Umrao Jaan and Karzzzz are some examples, while the remakes of Hero, Zanjeer and Baton Baton Mein are in the works.

Meanwhile, even at 64, the actor is continuing with a versatile filmography. Peepli Live, Ishqiya, 7 Khoon Maaf and The Dirty Picture stand proof – and with Dedh Ishqiya and Jackpot he is proving himself further. Till date, he admits, he does every film with equal enthusiasm and with a sense of commitment. “I have never done any film which I didn’t want to do ever in my life. Every project that I have got into is with the same enthusiasm and same hope. Some have worked out and some have not. It’s unfair to say which ones are my favourites. People still talk about films like Masoom and Monsoon Wedding and I get best wishes from people. There are also times when you are shooting a film and you know that the film is not going to work, but you can’t walk out of a project! Too many people end up losing a lot of money; besides, there is also a commitment issue,” he said.

A mufti-faceted personality, Naseeruddin turned director with Yun Hota To Kya Hota in 2006. And the industry is still waiting for his next project. But, he says: “It’s too difficult to direct films! I don’t have the visual sense and to take decisions – both qualities that you need to be a filmmaker. I guess I enjoy directing theatre, but not cinema because in cinema, if you make one thing, it’s there forever and you will be judged as a filmmaker on that. That time (for Yun Hota…), I felt like making a film, so I went ahead. Now I don’t know…may be I will or won’t,” he added.

Nevertheless, he is appreciative of efforts by filmmakers such as Anurag Kashyap and Tigmanshu Dhulia, who, in his opinion, are preparing the ground for future filmmakers. “Anurag and Tigmanshu are preparing the ground for future filmmakers. We should celebrate, but not get carried away with this change,” he said.

Iulia vantur – the new chapter in Salman Khan’s life

Who is Salman Khan’s new girl? Cineswami tells us all about her

There has been much speculation about Iulia (also known as Lulia) Vantur, the Romanian beauty who Salman Khan is dating/has married/is going to marry – take your pick – and who is staying with Salman’s parents at their temporary digs in Bandra while their apartments are being renovated/staying at Salman’s Panvel farmhouse/staying at the flat Salman has bought for her – take your pick.

In the middle of all these speculations, not much is known about who exactly Iulia is and hence beholden by duty to you, our loyal readers, here’s the lowdown. Iulia will turn 33 on July 24, a mere eight days after Katrina Kaif turns 29 on July 16. Spring chicken Salman will turn 48 on December 27.

Iulia was born in Iasi, a breathtakingly beautiful city known as the cultural capital of Romania. Iulia had plenty of space to enjoy the beauty and culture of her city because with a population below 3,00,000 there are less people there than in say, Vashi (Navi Mumbai). Iulia began her career as a television presenter at the tender age of 15. However, she did not neglect her education and completed a degree in law. This should come in handy if Salman goes behind bars for his involvement in the hit-and-run and blackbuck cases.

In 2006, Iulia moved to Romania’s capital city Bucharest, which, with a population of 1.7 million proved a better training ground than Iasi for the heaving 21 million mass of Mumbai where she would eventually move. A stint as an anchor on breakfast news bulletins got her noticed, but she really arrived when she was on Romania’s version of television show Dancing With The Stars, hosted by Stefan Banica Jr on Pro TV, the country’s version of Doordarshan.

Elsewhere in Romania, on December 30, 1981, a child was born in a historic city. Since the city is named Alba Iulia, it was perhaps destined that the boy Marius Moga would grow up and be with his aptly named soulmate Iulia. Moga moved to Bucharest in 1999 and soon became a popular musician. During the course of his peregrinations he met Iulia, they fell in love and commenced a relationship.

In the summer of 2011, Salman was shooting Ek Tha Tiger in Dublin. He knew Marius Moga because the musician had helped him get the rights of a popular Romanian song by Cleopatra Stratan that was eventually adapted by Himesh Reshammiya as Teri meri in Bodyguard. Marius happened to be in Dublin with Iulia and dropped in on the Tiger set. That was where Salman first laid eyes on Iulia. Later that year, Marius and Iulia came to India on holiday. It is not clear whether they met with Salman on that trip.

In 2012, the unthinkable happened – Marius and Iulia, Romanian pop culture’s golden couple, broke up. It wasn’t easy on Iulia and she had to schedule visits to the shrink to get over her mental trauma. On one of his globetrotting trips, Salman ran into Iulia and quickly became a shoulder for her to cry on. As happens so often, the friendship deepened and ripened and Iulia is now well on her way to becoming a Mumbaikar.